Cat Ipsum

Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, prance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor’s dog and make it bark or sit on human for mesmerizing birds. Love you, then bite you. Cat is love, cat is life mrow or chase laser for cough furball into food bowl then scratch owner for a new one scratch for prance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor’s dog and make it bark for reward the chosen human with a slow blink. Throw down all the stuff in the kitchen i like frogs and 0 gravity so sit by the fire. Thinking longingly about tuna brine mark territory, or wake up human for food at 4am or reward the chosen human with a slow blink. Destroy couch as revenge suddenly go on wild-eyed crazy rampage and lick sellotape. Stick butt in face stand with legs in litter box, but poop outside, cats are fats i like to pets them they like to meow back yet put butt in owner’s face hiding behind the couch until lured out by a feathery toy go into a room to decide you didn’t want to be in there anyway. Plop down in the middle where everybody walks run up and down stairs so drink water out of the faucet spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch yet destroy couch as revenge. Meeeeouw meowzer. Claw at curtains stretch and yawn nibble on tuna ignore human bite human hand what a cat-ass-trophy! hiss at vacuum cleaner chase imaginary bugs. Rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent making sure that fluff gets into the owner’s eyes pose purrfectly to show my beauty, meow to be let in yet eats owners hair then claws head get my claw stuck in the dog’s ear. Meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humans destroy house in 5 seconds. Eat all the power cords cats secretly make all the worlds muffins plays league of legends. Swat at dog lay on arms while you’re using the keyboard i just saw other cats inside the house and nobody ask me before using my litter box ooh, are those your $250 dollar sandals? lemme use that as my litter box but terrorize the hundred-and-twenty-pound rottweiler and steal his bed, not sorry munch on tasty moths. Sit on human they not getting up ever love blinks and purr purr purr purr yawn carefully drink from water glass and then spill it everywhere and proceed to lick the puddle but caticus cuteicus. Chase dog then run away sit on human they not getting up ever sun bathe, so sweet beast love me!, and experiences short bursts of poo-phoria after going to the loo and cat cat moo moo lick ears lick paws. Behind the couch flop over immediately regret falling into bathtub. Roll over and sun my belly dream about hunting birds for bleghbleghvomit my furball really tie the room together walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield for chase mice, for dead stare with ears cocked.

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